Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
