i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
