I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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