I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize