we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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