Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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(651): View more from Minnesota

All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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(360): View more from Washington

he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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(970): View more from Colorado

i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.

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(530): View more from California

she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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(573): View more from Missouri

This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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(904): View more from Florida

I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober

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(315): View more from New York

My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.

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