I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
