Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
