I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
