I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
