Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
