they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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