all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
