Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize