I think i sorta joined a cult last night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this will be a night to untag.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
