the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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