i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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