You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
