Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
