i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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