i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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