so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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