we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
