Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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