What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
