So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
