I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
please come you make the beer taste better
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
