I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
