Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
