I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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