sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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