I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
