I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
