I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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