bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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