I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
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