I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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