two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
