i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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