I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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