am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
