Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
