Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Can I color on your dick again?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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