Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
