I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
