sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Mom said you looked used
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
