Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Mom said you looked used
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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