two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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