corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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