Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
