tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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