I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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