Buhtt sex?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
