Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
