I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
