Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sorry about my life...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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