Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
