In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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