I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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