well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
