Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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