I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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