Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
