your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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