If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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