Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
